Family Chain

Today I re-found this paper chain hung in my closet and finally decided to read all the names on it.  The girls made this a month or two ago.  I remember vaguely the discussion going as follows:
Emily: I wrote all the names for our family.
Ashley: We need more names to make a longer chain.
Emily: Okay.

In the end here's what our family looks like
Ashley--Ginger (the hores)--Emily--Ashley Rose--Jenny E.-- Jenny A.--Dash the engine--Thomas the engine--Maegan--Dad (Bryan)--Bikealeena--littl moovr--Scoody Scooses (Princess)--Scoody--Aaron--Anna (the car)

Interpretation:  Jenny E and Jenny A are the twin American Girl dolls belonging to the Em & Ash, Ashley Rose is the newest American Girl doll with Ginger her horse, Scoody is Emily's scooter, Scoody Scooses I assume is Ashley's scooter, Dash & Thomas were Aaron's newest trains at the time, and Anna is the name of our van.  Bike-a-leena and little mover are new to me, but why not join the family? We could use some more names on the family chain.  

Today my brain is working on-

My consuming fear for the last two days- inadequacy.  Lots of areas: mother to Emily, mess control of my house, as a good wife, in my calling at church, school next year, etc.
The good news- God is mindful. He is in control. I can trust Him. After a 2 hour pondering session with Him last night, I felt less consumed and more open and aware.
Tender mercies I appreciated- texts from a friend letting me see that I am not forgotten, bunnies on a trail reminding me that God numbers all His creations, a listening husband, a counseling session set up for today made a week ago, Moroni 7 (hope and faith), and a running partner who listened and supported.
Thanks Lord.  I don't feel so alone when I see you around.
Saturday I was praising His name- finding His work in my life; going from "life is pretty good" to "life is great!" just because I knew He was guiding me.  I found Him in the temple and rejoiced.  Sunday night- wham-o. Is that what my future holds?  More times of finding such joy in the Lord and then He says you are ready for more.  I did get a good couple weeks of rejoicing in the Lord before the wham-o.  I guess He's finding out how deep I go.  Opening me to empathy, more truths.  An understanding of the quote by Joseph Smith "...that doesn't require the sacrifice of all things, will never produce the faith necessary..."  Now that I write that down, I realize that's a pretty messed up view of a loving God.  He's going to make it hurt the worst?  But oh yeah- it's for my own good.  Okay so if I focus on that then I can trust Him again.
Come on self- look on the bright side.  Serve others.  From a Jackie Chan movie I watched years ago Rush Hour, the guy's name was Kit; which stood for Keep It Together and he chanted that over and over when times were hard.  That will be my mantra for the morning as I deal with a sick baby boy and my fears "Keep it together, keep it together."  And be praying for the Lord to show me.  Teach me.  Help me find the way to Him.

Love quotes

I have learned of Michele through her book "Love Has a Face" years ago and I love her.  Then I got on general conference talks and found some gems from Saturday's morning session. Mostly I am putting them here for me to remember.

denouement by Michele Perry "The cross was not the end. It was the beginning of all things being made new. It was the climax of the story, not its ending. And if the cross was the climax, the empty tomb was the denouement of it all. I just like the word. Denouement. Pronounced day-nu-mah. It is a literary term meaning the solution of the mystery, the outcome, the end result, the sequence following the climax of a drama where resolution is reached. In the case of the resurrection story it is the point when Jesus steps out of the tomb to leave death an empty grave. The first walk with God in the garden was a walk of intimacy. Adam and God. Until the choice was made that would plunge creation into chaos. Next time we read of God the Son walking in the garden, it was a walk of humility. The will that was lost, given away to evil, by the first Adam was regained by the Second in an agonizing "not my will but Yours be done." {How many times do I fight for my will when His is better, always infinitely better?} And then Jesus walked out of the tomb into another garden in victory so that we could be embraced by Him for eternity. And that eternity starts now. And so we are sent out in authority to walk the land with Him, the story of the cross written on our hearts, us no longer alive in ourselves but yet bursting with His Life, with freedom and all that is good and true and Him. This resurrection journey: intimacy, humility, victory, eternity, authority all interwoven expressions of His matchless, endless grace. May I walk these paths with Him everyday. I want my life to be a signpost of heaven. Like the ancient Celtic crosses that dotted the landscape in the days of Columba and Patrick. These were not symbols of an ultimatum but rather an invitation. Come walk with us and meet the ever-present, always-good God who deeply, intimately loves you. Who numbers your hairs and knows your rising and sitting before you do. Come aside and learn of the story. The plot, the mystery, the climax and yes the denouement of the ages we live and breathe and move in. HE is the fulfillment of all the promises and in Him all things hold together. Even our stories, even our lives. His glory seeping out through surrendered vessels to transform a broken creation crying out for sons and daughters of God fully manifested, fully made known. May I be one of these. The cross-story etched in my heart, His resurrection glory circumscribing, transforming my dust, and even the world around me as I walk with Him, stepping lightly but boldly in love on fragmented lands that they may become whole, running to the margins, seeing the unseen, hearing the voiceless cries in the night, following this wild unpaved road with One Who is not at all tame or safe, but in all ways good."

QUENTIN L. COOK: We rejoice in the Lord’s assurance that He will stand by us and give us guidance and direction. The Holy Ghost testifies to our hearts that we have a loving Father in Heaven,

HENRY B. EYRING We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word.

PAUL E. KOELLIKER The feeling of love from our Heavenly Father is like a gravitational pull from heaven. As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us toward Him. Nephi described its impact as “even unto the consuming of [his] flesh” This same power of love caused Alma to sing a “song of redeeming love”. It touched Mormon in such a way that he counseled us to “pray … with all the energy of [our] heart” that we might be filled with His love.

Both modern and ancient scripture are full of reminders of Heavenly Father’s eternal love for His children. I am confident that our Heavenly Father’s arms are constantly extended, ever ready to embrace each one of us and say to each one with that quiet, piercing voice, “I love you.”

Because of the heaven-designed pattern of the family, we more fully understand how our Heavenly Father truly loves each of us equally and fully.

Week & Weekend

Emily is home sick with a cold this week with a fever, sneezing & sniffly nose and had an earache from sinus pressure at one point too. Lots of half used kleenex around the house, but she's pretty happy about lots of reading time.

The girls are working so sweetly together on Ashley's birthday invitations. Emily typed the info while Ash supervised. Ash is drawing with markers on one side of the cover while Emily is painting on the other side. They are each loving their art and they are singing a duet with lots of compliments and working togetherness. Maybe homeschool could work. Maybe.

Aaron is sick with an ear infection and will be headed to the Dr's in a little bit. Tonight we'll be headed to a bonfire with my mom's ward. Tomorrow is 2 soccer games back to back, friend's party for Ash, lunch field trip to Indian food for Em, a RS sewing project at the church, and a national book festival at the university- lots of fun choices of things so we'll see what we end up doing.

We are headed to Utah in a week and a half for spring break. Skiing, temple, friends, family, haircut and Dr appts are on the calendar.

We decided last week that we are going to be living in Utah for the summer and then headed back to Tucson again for next fall. Big decisions are tough. No matter what good choice you pick, you lose the good things that the other choice would have brought.

Ash rides her bike!

February 7, Tuesday afternoon. Another gorgeous day in Tucson.

Bryan outside with Ash, he asks her if she wants to take off her training wheels and she says okay.

In less than a minute she was riding like a champ. (Em & I inside doing science fair & Aaron napping)

The next day she rode the 1 mile to school with the family. She took almost no breaks and when I asked her if she was tired she said that the excitement of biking just kept her going.

Since then she's upgraded to a new helmet- the same design and size as moms. Most Wednesday mornings you can see between 3-5 of us biking our way to school. Way to go Asha!

Science Fair 2012

Science Fair for Emily was optional: either do a weather project due early Feb. or a science fair project due late Feb. She opted for the later due date thinking that sounded easy.

The first topic she picked was about fairy houses, then it was growing seeds. Finally she settled on What will happen when I blow on different lengths of straws?

It might not look like much, but this represents lots of work and patience. At first she was excited about it, then got way bored yet excited again at the end. The favorite part was where we tested homemade panpipes' pitches on the keyboard.

Next time I think she and I both would vote for the weather project, but are glad for the experience.

Aaron's Faces

Oh my boy Aaron. 2 years and 9 months old. He is a joy and a pain-depends on who you ask and at what time. He's been sick this last week and we are all grateful he's on the mend.

Sweet face. Emily is the photographer. And Aaron is posing so nicely b/c he knows she will let him see the picture immediately after she takes it. Silly Face. This is the one he knows how to make best. He really loves to make this face on Bryan.

Sleepy Face. Here he's in his new big boy bed. Whenever he is sleepy, riding in the car, sad, hungry, or being snuggled up you can almost bet he will have either hand in his mouth. Three fingers- which three depends on the hand. And if there is a long hair wound around his fingers he will be content for a long time. If there are two hairs the better.

Train/Truck/Car Heaven Face. This boy is a train-o-holic. One night while Daddy was reading to the girls, he and I made a huge track of cars. It lasted 5 minutes before being crashed.
Cheese face. Usually he isn't the happiest in the morning b/c he's tired, and the girls are getting more attention while they get ready for school. You can see Ash filling in her morning chart. But for the camera- cheese!

Lotion Face. After bath. Lotion within reach. My friend Lightening could use some cream- we are in a dry climate. After all, mom puts lotion on my cheeks. And Lightening (who robotically talks) loves to say "Not the Face!" so why not put lotion on his face.

It's a good thing he's so darn cute, talkative, and that he's my third because otherwise he'd be in a lot more trouble. Instead of putting him in time out a lot, he gets a lot of hugs. Daddy being home is another great other lap for sitting on.

I needed to buy new diapers at Costco. I figured Aaron's about 30-35 lbs. Size 4 (what I have been getting) is up to 35 lbs. Size 5 is 27 lbs+. I've never had a child of mine wear size 5 diapers yet, but I thought maybe they'd be fine, I was being a cheap-skate (b/c size 5 is .02 more per diaper) and really my son could use some more room. I bought size 5 Costco brand- kind with an elephant (which I thought was a little insulting so I checked size 6 dprs and was pleased to see a giraffe and not a hippo or pig). We loved the new elephant diapers and Aaron named the elephant Blumpo. He leaked out four times in a row. We are not a size 5 diaper family yet.