Thoughts from today

My birthday/pumpkin party happened this morning. We had the Wrights, Moultries, Lees, Zobells, Johnson kids and Kelly Onstott. Other than Aaron giving himself a goose-egg by running full steam into our fireplace and Ashley crying b/c she didn't want to sit at the available seats, it was a nice time. Becky brought yummy treats and homemade root beer and we ended with a pinata which was fun.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Bryan and the girls bought me a hermit crab Hermy, but he died in the night. It could have been due to the fact that we kind of dropped him twice on the bathroom counter, or to the fact we didn't give him a heat lamp like we were supposed to, or it just could have been his time to go. We had a very nice burial service for Hermy in our backyard with many neighbor kids in attendance. He has a nice headstone which reads "Hermy He lived ocne. He died." It was the perfect tribute. Emily was in mourning for the next hour. Many flowers and leaves were brought to decorate the grave site. I can't say that I've missed him too much.

For my birthday my mom bought me some gorgeous roses and gave me an heirloom diamond ring; both were meaningful to me. Our family celebrated my birthday night with our own dance party. My sweetie knows I like to dance so we pushed the couches aside and rocked out with the girls for 45 minutes. It made me smile. I also spend my birthday talking on the phone with family, eating ice cream with some friends, enjoying a breakfast feast and a dinner I didn't have to cook. The more I taste the idea of 30, the more I am getting used to it and figuring out what flavor it is.

Today I was reading a book by Heidi Baker called Compelled by Love about her desire to help people around her and finding her faith and ministry by helping people in Mozambique. I too want to help people and be alive in Jesus. Right now I feel excited about other people and their adventures in serving and giving their lives to others in the spirit of God. For a while I was feeling pressure from Bryan and other expectations to have another child soon but wasn't feeling like I wanted to give other things up/away. I talked to my midwife who said that a good time to have a child is when your joy and lives are so full and fulfilling that you want to spill it over/share it with someone else. So I feel at peace with the decision to not get pregnant soon and I am more focusing on where I am and what I want from life. Especially since my birthday for some reason. Like my time to experiment life is transforming into what I am doing for the rest of my life. I am realizing I want it to be more giving and reaching out than it is right now. I am not training for any races currently. Becky and I have been running only on Friday mornings. I have been in withdrawals so I called her last week and said I needed twice a week again. It's painfully early for me, but I need it for the exercise, friendship and therapy. I am planning on the SLC Ragnar with my family in June 2011.

Bryan and I are good. I got scared for/about him when he went to visit Texas in September and he hung out with his brother Cameron for a few days. But after some hard days together, I feel like we are at a good/better place than we've been before. It's love (which means work and play) and it's good. Music studio is fun for Bryan when he's doing what he wants. He recorded his first band this month and thought their music was okay. Overall he liked pushing buttons, etc. but making it his profession isn't happening. He started holding weekly band practices for him and his friends on Wed nights and has had fun with composing new stuff with Jono recently.

Homeschooling is now not new anymore and it's been challenging for me to find a balance of where it's fun and where I get to be the enforcer. Since I don't have any formalized instruction plan Emily is testing my limits and I am realizing I need some goals. Both girls are starting to play piano with and without lessons. Ashley learned how to read this last week. Her first book was Green Eggs and Ham. Then Go Dogs Go and has launched from there. It's very fun and cool to watch someone learn how to read. When I asked her where she learned, she said "I guess I already knew how." Emily came home from school telling me what were our needs vs. wants. Points for public education.

Aaron is a curious toddler boy (16 months). He is challenging right now with him getting into everything (toilets, markers, kitchen cabinets). He dropped Bryan's cell phone in the toilet this week but luckily it got fixed ok. He loves being able to color like the girls but he eats markers, crayons and pencil erasers. And colors on everything so I end up giving him a yellow colored pencil and he is ok with that (for a while). He has some very cute words right now "none, two, fee (1, 2, 3); roar! (when sees a bear picture); ball; shoes; nana (all fruits); bye-bye; and No! (when he is getting into anything that he thinks is off limits, i.e. the garbage).

FYI- We are planning to spend Thanksgiving in WA with Bryan's brother Drew and the Christmas/New Years season with my family in Tucson. We will be driving to both places. Also we are considering relocating to Tucson in Feb/March for about 6 weeks. If you have an info on people wanting some renters in AZ or needing a place in SLC, let me know.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I turn 30. I wanted to get Lasik eye surgery to feel better about my old age birthday but I really reconsidered when I asked Bry if he wanted to get it done too and he replied, "Optional surgery on my eyes? No way!" I guess I was only looking at the pluses: it's been tested for a lot of years, I already have seen my kids' faces so even if I go blind I could maybe remember them, I am the optimal age and my eyes measured good so I won't have night vision blurriness, and I won't be blind if there were any emergencies in the middle of the night. I guess I am waiting for more people to keep telling me all the good reasons and stories so I'll be convinced again. My current vision is -3.25 (contact) in both eyes.

I just read that it's supposed to be bad weather for my pumpkin party on Saturday. Good thing I just started sweeping out and organizing the garage. The girls/ neighborhood kids love to collect flower petals, sticks, plants, berries and grass and make them into 'fairy stew.' Somehow or another all the dead plants end up on my garage floor. That is one positive with Bryan being out with the girls tonight birthday shopping (which took forever), I cleaned the garage since the van was gone. I picked up sand toys, plumbers tape and weed wacker string.

The girls and Bryan bought me a hermit crab for my birthday. It's black and has a jack-0-lantern painted on its back. I had known about this and agreed to it beforehand. After they came home with the crab and all its gear, I would now like to reconsider. Icky, maintenance and stinky already. And that's with me only having touched it once. It managed to climb up and out of it's 4" high cardboard box and landed on the bathroom counter. I moved it back inside the box but I don't know how long we can last. It's my job to name it. I am thinking about naming it Beta Fish and telling the girls it transformed in the night.

Halloween party Saturday night. Bryan picked out our costumes. All I will say now is that I will be learning Elf-ish language to play my part correctly. I don't love my character I am being, but I do love Bryan and want to support his dreams. The party with adults only and good food should be fun.

Went to the zoo today with the girls for homeschool. I think we spent about 3 hours there. I think our favorite was baby Zuri the female 1 year old elephant. After leaving the giraffe pen, Ashley says to me (in a quiet voice since the giraffe house says to be quiet), "Mom, I don't think I want a giraffe for a pet." I think she finally got the 'animal' part of the zoo. Like the animals are not just there to entertain us, but are alive with habits, etc. Earlier while we were feeding the birds at the duck pond, Ashley comes over to me crying. She told me that the big white bird (Trumpeter Swan) bit her thumb while trying to get the bread out of her hand.

Well, I got one hour left of being 29. I think I'll go spend it in bed since I am starting my day tomorrow with running at 7 a.m. Followed I think by Nutella crepes made by Bryan.